I felt compelled to write this after a recent coaching session with a married client. I’ll preface it by telling you that this is my opinion and I have no statistical data to prove it, just my own observations.
Marital issues do NOT discriminate. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been together, your race, economic status, how many kids you have, where you live, if your both employed, … I could go on and on. Combining two people with different back grounds, expectations, desires, opinions, and personalities is no easy task. It takes time and effort, but even more than that it takes communication and the willingness to change/adapt by both parties. Not to mention we are living in a fast paced society where we barely take care of ourselves let alone our marriage.
I also feel that we have a distorted view of other marriages, so we tend be hard on ourselves if we feel our relationship isn’t as good as someone else’s. For obvious reasons people rarely announce their issues to friends, coworkers, family, or on social media; so all we see of other marriages is what we observe or what they want us to see (ie: as you have seen everyone’s happy on social media). It’s that same theory popping up again ~ thinking the grass is greener on the other side … Is it really greener? Maybe … but it could also be an illusion or fake.
My purpose for writing this is not to be preachy or judgmental, actually its the opposite. This is just a friendly reminder:
- not to judge others (we probably have no idea what’s really going on in their lives)
- to be kind ourselves
- that everyone has issues and no-one is perfect
- if your marriage is struggling – your not alone
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It is possible,