How I went from a wife and mom that lived for everyone else to a happy woman thriving as an individual, eager to teach other women to find their happy.
Can I tell you a secret?
If you‘d asked me the secret to happiness 10 years ago, I would have simply made up something that sounded good.
It’s not that I was a liar – it’s that I didn’t know what happy was and to be honest I was ashamed of that fact. When I think back to me 10+ years ago, I really see how unhappy I was. It wasn’t a sad or depressed unhappy, it was a I’m-living-for-my-family-I-don’t-know-who-I am-anymore-and-I’m-not-as-happy-as-I-could-be unhappy.
I’d lost my identity and I wanted it back
I was jolted into this reality when my husband and I realized that we were acting like roommates rather than soul mates. Neither of us was as happy as we could be, individually or together. This was the moment I realized I didn’t know who I was without my family – WOW – sounds sad to say it out loud, but it’s the truth nonetheless. Instead of accepting this as my reality and my future, I fought. As we worked on becoming a stronger couple, I was determined to find me again.
My identity was my family. Unbeknownst to me I was relying solely on them to make me happy – Never Again! My family means everything to me, but I wanted them to be the whipped cream and cherry that completed my sundae (my happy life), but not the actual ice cream (my foundation needed to be me).
Mirror, mirror on the wall
At this point when I looked into the mirror I saw:
Guilt, Judgment, Exhaustion, and Fear
The ping of guilt in my gut was gnawing at me! You know that feeling when you ask yourself “How could I be unhappy, I’m so blessed?” I mean seriously, I have a handsome husband who works hard to give us an amazing life and we have 4 of the most kind-hearted, fun kids that this world has ever met, not to mention our good health, fun vacations, and beautiful home. Shouldn’t I be more grateful?
When I took a deeper look into the mirror I also saw:
Gratitude, Excitement, Determination, and Joy
I think being lost was over-shadowing my gratitude. The longer I looked into the mirror the more I thought of all of the things I had to be grateful for and the more familiar I looked, but I was determined to get to know me better.
It was time to help me and to stop putting everyone’s happiness before my own.
It was time to step away from my comfort zone and take this head on.
In my heart I knew how beneficial this would be for my marriage, my family, my future, and me; but I was terrified.
Investing in myself
Finding my happiness has allowed me to blossom into a confident, loving, strong woman, but the process was not as pretty or simple as it may sound.
I started researching Google, local meet-ups, and online resources.
I started blogging and step-by-step I found myself on a journey that I never could have imagined. I realized that I’m not alone and that other women go through similar things.
This process of self-discovery introduced me to Life Coaching. There is no way I could have done this on my own.
Coaching provided me:
- A sounding block
- Someone to ask the hard questions when needed
- A deeper look into my personality
- A path to uncovering my needs (kinda forgot I had them)
- A chance to redefine my core values
- The strength to use my voice and say no when needed
- A happy outlook on life and my future
It was scary, yet refreshing and day-by-day I grew stronger and stronger.
The more that I grew to recognize the woman in the mirror the more eager I was to help other women do the same.
But before I could help other women find their happy, I needed to finish my own journey.
Knowledge is Power
With my background as a Personal Trainer I had the body covered, but I wanted to understand more about our mind/soul. One of my favorite sayings is “Knowledge Is Power”, so I took my own advice and I went back to school. Now a Certified Professional Coach, I understand the importance of maintaining balance (body, mind, and soul) so I can be fully present and grow with my family.
What did I find on my personal journey?
I thought you would never ask
Higher self esteem
Compassionate Communication skills
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not perfect in any way, shape, or form.
I am a normal woman with cycling hormones. I like to say that I’m a work in progress and I’m happy being me.
All of this has led me to the thing that makes me wildly happy:
Helping Women Find Their Happy
I still can’t tell you exactly what happy is or what happy looks like, because I’ve realized it’s different for each and every one of us, but I can tell you it’s absolutely worth the effort to find your happy
Just like diamonds, we are unique and we come in many sizes, shapes, and colors, with various internal characteristics.
For these reasons my programs are customized to align with my clients’ needs, future goals, and dreams.
Find your happy - Invest in yourself
Contact me below to setup a discovery call and see if coaching is right for you.